08.07.02 � 8:13 pm

I've been so unmotivated lately. Normally I would think that is a sign of depression, but I'm absolutely not depressed about anything. I'm just tired, I guess. I've gotten in this habit of having very late nights which just makes waking up at 6 am torturous. Every day I swear I'm going to bed at a reasonable hour and then the night comes and I'm wide fucking awake. It's not like insomnia. I've had that before. This is different.

Todd and I are going to start our own lil reading club. I'm forcing him to read "Confederacy of Dunces" and he wants me to re-read "The Great Gatsby". So, I visited Borders today and reading has commenced.

Books are as important to him as music is to me and so I think it's cool to share this with him.

Through work I meet a lot of people and a few years ago I met a woman who works for the state doing pharmacy compliance. She knew my ex (who's a pharmacy tech) and when we separated, she would always give me dirt on him. Well, she called me today and left me a message, which I thought was odd because we're not at that stage where we just call to see what's up. So I call her back and the first words out of her mouth were ...

"Your ex husband has been getting around."

Well, okay.

Apparently he went into a pharmacy looking for this girl and the girl didn't want to see him and sent her boss out to get rid of him. Apparently they were having an argument of some kind.

His girlfriend (that he lives with, I might add) does NOT work in a pharmacy. So who on earth is this girl?

I've always thought he was probably cheating on Kim. You know the saying. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I don't know how it makes me feel. I suppose I feel sorry for him in a way. I don't want him to keep making these stupid mistakes. But at the same time, I hope he gets caught and faces the consequences of his actions. In a way (and I KNOW this is bad) I sort of WANT to see him suffer. He never even suffered a bit when he lost his wife and daughter.

Infidelity sucks ass.

But, I'm much better off without him. I'm happy and free and FINALLY doing things for ME and for BRIANNA and well...

Fuck him.

I'm going to Starbuck's. I want to try the new Vanilla Creme Frappucino.

previous - next