04.16.04 � 12:14 pm

There's so much going on, so you'll have to forgive me if this entry is veyr scattered. My brain has been so boggled lately with everything that's happening, I seem to be losing my mind.

I'm not sure how much of this I talked about previously, but Todd's stepdad is very ill. He's been diagnosed with Paget's sarcoma, which is a cancer of the bone. He has a large tumor that is wrapped around his pelvic bone and had caused him so much discomfort, he could no longer walk. The plan of action was to start aggressive chemo and then operate to remove the tumor. As the chemo went on, Larry regained the use of his leg, which made us all very hopeful that the tumor was shrinking. Of course, the chemo made him very ill, and even though he was able to walk, he still suffered quite a bit.

(bear with me, i know this is a long story)

They did an MRI Friday and discovered that not only has the tumor NOT shrunk, but the cancer has spread to his tailbone and his scrotum. The tumors are now causing him so much pain, they were not able to do the removal surgery and are planning to amputate his leg.

It does not look good.

Meredythe seems to be holding up okay. Larry has been good about getting all their affairs in order and he says he is not afraid to die. But it's sort of a helpless feeling when you are so far away and can't do anything to help at all. It just seems so needless. All the suffering. I can accept that we can't choose when it will be our time to go, but why is the suffering necessary??

Also,

We're moving this weekend. And there's all the stress that goes along with that. We haven't been as good as we should have at getting organized, which means tonite will be a late night. The movers are coming in the morning along with the cable guy (a necessity! yay wireless internet!)and our new sofa and chair will be delivered in the morning.

It's all exciting and fresh-startish, but it's just so horribly timed. I'm giving a baby shower for a co-worker Sunday and so after we move all day Saturday, I'll be up late tying miniature baby bottles around little pink candy bags.

Then there's the wedding to finish paying for. All the little things start to add up. Sarah's stepmom calligraphied the addresses on the invitations last week and they look beautiful. Now I just need 5 million stamps and they'll be ready to go.

I got my first fitting on my wedding dress last weekend. Believe me, it was a very surreal experience. I don't feel very "bride-like", but I do feel very much in love and like I am taking one of the most important, most absolutely RIGHT steps of my life.

Also, Wilco cancelled their shows because of Tweedy and rehab. We had tickets to see them next weekend. I've already called front gate tickets to get my refund. We're disappointed, but also a bit relieved. With everything going on, we just had no bidness planning a trip to Austin. Todd starts finals on the 26th and he needs to study.

I guess that's it. I'm long-winded, huh?

This is what happens when I don't write very often. Not that I mislead myself into thinking that anyone is interested in reading the mundane details of my life.

previous - next