05.20.02 � 6:56 am

Fucking insomnia.

I had a nightmare in which Jenny and I were discovering dead bodies all over this hospital. It was like a horror movie. That woke me up around 3:45.

Let me say first that when I'm stressed about something, I don't sleep for shit. I can actually make myself sick to my stomach with anxiety. So anyway, there I was at a quarter to 4, wide awake and ANXIOUS. Now, I know what I was anxious about. But I didn't realize it was bothering me before this point. All of a sudden the stress about this situation was unbelievable. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I tossed and turned. TRIED to think of other things. Work. My trip to Hawaii. Anything. It didn't work.

I stayed that way until almost 5 am. When I did fall asleep, I had a very vivid dream that I had my car parked in a parking lot and the wheels were messed up. I was frantic and crying. There was a guy next to me working on his car and he heard me crying and came over to help me. He layed down on the ground so he could peer under the car and I layed down next to him. Needless to say, it turned into a sex dream.

A brief, but sweet respite from my anxiety.

Cause now I'm awake and it's back and I really hate it.

On a side note: I'm off tomorrow and I want Vietnamese food for lunch. I'm an addict.

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