09.20.02 � 6:59 am

It isn't that I haven't had anything going on. Rather it's that I haven't had much to say.

My grandfather has a heart condition called atrial fibrillation. This means his heart beats so fast that it's practically not beating at all..just fluttering. He was on medication for it and the medication caused his heart rate to go too low. So about 4 years ago, he got himself a pacemaker. He still has problems with the atrial fib. The problem is that he doesn't want anyone fussing over him so he never lets anyone know when he's sick. Tuesday morning he collapsed face-first in the driveway. My stepmom called me at work and told me that the ambulance was one it's way to the hospital. I've never flown so fucking fast. I made it clear across town in 7 minutes. He looks pretty bad, really cut up and bruised. He broke his nose when he fell. The pacemaker people came to the hospital to make sure his device was running properly and they said that at the time he fell, his pacemaker recorded a heart rate of 175. Jesus.

What frustrates me is that no one seems to be able to fix this. I know he's almost 80, maybe they feel he's too old and there's no point. I don't want him to die. Everytime I get these "rush to the hospital" phone calls, I worry that it might be the last.

One other thing, I know I mentioned that I hate my sociology teacher. I think I said she was a "feminist freak". I've started to get paranoid that maybe I need to clarify that a little. I have no problem with feminism. Shit, I have a bit of feminism in me. BUT...she was EXTREME man-bashing. To the point it made me uncomfortable. And that's really what I meant by the "feminist" comment. Although, I love her now. She's grown on me. I think she's toned down her man-bashing and she has really excellent stories. Plus, I made a good grade on her exam.

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