01.07.03 � 7:29 pm

First day of school for Brianna today and I finally have some order back in my life. Brianna is finally home and we spent tonite together doing girl stuff. (you know, shopping at Target etc) Now she's in her room watching her new Mary Kate and Ashley video. I'm happy to have normalcy again.

Which brings me to another point. Sarah put an ad on match.com. (check her out, her name is robotsaresilly) and so we were perusing the ads and checking out guys. I noticed that a lot of people include the statement "I like the simple things in life" in their profiles. What the fuck does that mean???!!! I mean, really. Simple things??? I think it's a stupid thing people say because it's just something you're supposed to say in a personal ad.

So anyway, tonite Bri and I were in the car and we were listening to the Police and singing Roxanne at the top of our lungs. And as we're singing "Put on the red light....put on the red light" over and over, I realized how much fun I was having and how much I was enjoying that moment. Then I figured out, that moment..THAT was a "simple thing"! I solved the mystery!

I've been sorta bummed the past two days. I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm much happier when I have the upper hand in a relationship. Sarah and I have discussed this in great length in the past, but I've never really noticed the truth of it til lately. The past two days I was feeling crappy. Sort of insecure about Todd. And then tonite he wanted to hang out and I told him I'd rather wait til Friday. I told him tonite was my night with Brianna. Voila. I have the upper hand again. And you know what? I feel 1 million times better than I did yesterday. Ugh. I KNOW it sounds like game playing, but don't ALL relationships involve SOME level of game playing?

DOes this make me seem insincere? Childish even? Maybe so. I've seen lately that some people keep two diaries. One for public viewing and one for private use. To me, I see no point in that. What you see is what you get from me. Yes there are I things I do and say and think and feel that are stupid and childish and selfish and crazy....but that's me.

And I'm not all bad, I don't think.

So, if you read my diary, you're gonna get all that. I'm not going to filter it so that you'll all think I'm a better person than I am.

Not that I could BE any better, that is!

Just kidding!

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