03.11.04 � 7:19 am

PMS must be killing me this month. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, which ended with me last night sobbing hysterically on the car ride home from a family trip to Target. I was moody all evening, just not in the mood for anyone or anything. But I'd promised Brianna we could go to Target and look for an outfit for her to wear to the shower.

It was Todd who suffered. He kept trying to appease me, apparently I was having none of it.

When we got in the car, I couldn't control it. The tears and sobs came over me like a tidal wave and then the flood gates were down. Of course, once I started crying, all I could think about was how complicated I make things for Todd and how maybe it will be too much for him. And that made me cry harder.

It all sounds crazy, doesn't it? PMS makes me feel like a freakin psycho sometimes. It's not fair.

And completely unrelated, I'm having some problems with my dad again. Our couples shower is Saturday and he's decided not to go. I'm not sure if I ever wrote about it before. The problem is that my stepmother is feels that being around my mother would be "torture". Before our engagement party in October, she said some very hateful things to me and so I called my dad and told him not to come to the party. It was very difficult for me then and I was very upset. So I went to lunch with my dad awhile back to discuss things and he assured me that he'd handle it.

Fast forward to today and he's told me "I don't think we'll be going to the shower".

I'm so disappointed and angry.

----------

I'm going to stop talking about it. Just typing this stupid entry is making me cry.

See? Fucking basketcase.

previous - next