11.11.02 � 9:04 am

Beware: This is going to be an insanely pathetic entry. But I'm crying all over my keyboard and I need to work this out.

A guy from my past emailed me this morning. This guy broke my heart at a time when I didn't think my heart could be broken anymore. Because of him I realize that you can never ever trust anyone but yourself. People will make you promises that they think they can keep. They may even INTEND on keeping them, but the truth is....Things change. People change.

Anyway, this guy made me a lot of promises. Wanted to marry me. Blah blah. A week after telling me all this, he said he'd "met someone". Oddly enough, he'd met that someone weeks before he ever filled me full of that bullshit marriage stuff. He cries to me. Tells me he doesn't love her, but he's confused. Then one day he calls me with her screaming in the background. He tells me not to call him and not to send him mail.

About two months later we talk and he apologizes for that and says that he "practically had a gun" held to his head. He gives me his work email adress and asks that I mail him every once in awhile to let him know that Brianna and I are okay.

This morning I wake up and check my email, half hoping that there will be a mail from Todd apologizing for yesterday. But no. There's one from Rob.

Here's what it said...

"What I have to say is not easy for me to write and probably won't be

easy

for you to read.

Julie and I are happily married now, and I don't want anything to

happen

that would jeopardize our relationship. I made a mistake when I gave

you my

work e-mail address and allowed you a way to reach me, and I need you

to

stop e-mailing me or trying to contact me in any way. "

Like I'm some kind of fucking stalker?! I sent him an email on his birthday. That was July. Most recently I sent out my new phone numbers to everyone in my address book, so he would have gotten that also.

Between this and my shittiness with Todd yesterday, I wonder why I'm even attempting a relationship. Maybe I'm meant to be alone?

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